“I think it’s very important not to play referee but be the coach and help them work through the issues.” -Lori Wildenberg
Once a month, Lori and Lee Ann will discuss complex topics regarding parenting and disciplining to help families have peace in the home and work together to build lifetime connections! Lori Wildenberg is a national speaker, a licensed parent-family educator of over 25 years, and an award-winning author of six Christian parenting books. Lori also leads the popular Moms Together Facebook Community Page and Group. During this episode of MOMents with Lori and Lee Ann, both share pointers on dealing with sibling conflict and bullying.
- When a child is bullying a sibling, parents must help BOTH kids – the victim and the one doing the bullying; all kids need to feel safe at home.
- We, as parents, want to watch for repetitive behaviors that are intentional and are meant to harm or humiliate the other child.
- Pay attention to the cause of the bullying – work on problem-solving resolution conflict as a family and identify the triggers to be able to work on respectful ways to work through them.
- Parents need to be aware of their own behaviors as children mirror them for good or bad – blaming others, name-calling, silent treatment, comparing people, or labeling/favoring children.
- Steps to help siblings become allies and not enemies; our messaging matters, and we should tell our children early, and often they are each other’s best friends.
- We need to value each child’s uniqueness while valuing family unity.
- Respect is one of the most critical character traits to help build in children; we must continue to weave respect in the family to avoid bullying problems amongst siblings.
- Don’t push the victim into forgiveness mode – they are allowed to grieve that their sibling has hurt them.
- Verbalize what you see on both sides, have them go to separate places to devise a plan to solve that problem, and then come together and merge their plans, putting them on the same side.
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