A Prayer to See
By Jessica Van Roekel
“And throwing off his cloak, he sprang up and came to Jesus. And Jesus said to him, ‘What do you want me to do for you?’ And the blind man said to him, ‘Rabbi, let me recover my sight. And Jesus said to him, ‘Go your way; your faith has made you well.’ And immediately he recovered his sight and followed him on the way.” Mark 10:50-52
What do you want from me? This is a question I’ve asked my children, my husband, and my church when I’ve been frustrated trying to guess their expectations. Expectations, especially unspoken, can create trouble in our lives. It leads to assumptions where we guess, sometimes wrongly, and then disappointment comes in waves. But do we know how to answer that when Jesus asks the question?
We might want someone to carry our burdens. Or maybe we don’t want any burdens at all. We might want our children to walk with the Lord, but their choices keep leading them elsewhere. Then we struggle to have hope. We wonder where we went wrong. We cast blame on friends and entertainments influence. Maybe we’re tired of living in the spiritual wilderness, and we wonder when we’ll make it to that elusive oasis.
Or maybe we’re in the difficult middle of caring for aging parents while still raising our kids. We bounce back and forth from releasing our kids to greater independence while navigating the need for our parents to depend on us more and more. In the maelstrom of living life, we start to focus on surviving the chaos that we squelch our desires because there’s no room for them. We only know that our burdens get heavier and heavier, and our eyes grow blind to hope.
But sometimes, we repress our desires for other reasons. We’re disappointed with people or God. We hope for something, but the opposite happens. We’re too afraid to pray because we assume that it won’t make a difference. Or we’ve believed God for a promise, but that promise remains unfulfilled. And we plod through our lives, squeezed tight by the burdens we carry.
We know Jesus heals, bears burdens, and promises victory, and we wonder when it will be our turn. We sit on the sideline of our life, letting life happen to us, desperate for Jesus to walk by like he did with the crowds at Jericho. I love the story of the blind beggar for two reasons. One, because when he heard that Jesus was near, he called for Jesus repeatedly even though the crowds tried to hush him. Second, because he was ready to answer Jesus’ question.
There are times when the chaos of our world shouts at us to stop calling out for Jesus. Our voice gets lost in the loudness of everything that demands our attention. We start to wonder if God even hears us, but faith propels us onward. It’s the belief that God sees us and that he wants us to answer the question, “What do you want me to do for you?”
Just as the blind man articulated his desire and was ready to throw off his cloak—the thing that his identity was wrapped in—so we can be ready to throw off our worries and concerns to stand before Jesus with our answer. The blind man wanted to see. What do you want Jesus to do for you? At times, we have so many thoughts swirling in our brains that answering this question leaves us speechless. It’s in these moments when we can seek God for the answer to what we need Jesus to do in our lives.
You know my need. You know what’s crippling me. You know my burdens that weigh heavy on my heart. I come to you today, blinded by worries and what-ifs and what-nows, and I stand before and ask to see. I want to see you move in my circumstances. I want to see your peace flood my heart. I want to see your joy rise inside me despite the heartache I hold in my hands. I know you can do a mighty work in my life, and I praise you for who you are and trust you to open my eyes to see you today.
In Jesus’ name, Amen
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Jessica Van Roekel loves the upside-down life of following Jesus as she journeys to wholeness through brokenness. As an author, speaker, and worship leader, she uses her gifts and experiences to share God’s transformative power to rescue, restore, and renew. She longs for you to know that rejection doesn’t have to define or determine your future when placed in God’s healing hands. Find out more reframingrejectionbook.
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